This is our future.

We arrived Tuesday, prior to a horrible storm.  It was raining so hard that we decided to go straight to the hotel.  I'm still working on learning my way around Houston and I don't want to learn in a monsoon with Houston traffic.  We unloaded and went to our room.  I prayed that the rain would let up.  There is nothing worse than being stuck in a hotel with the big fat elephant.  We have learned to deal with it in Augusta and life is back to normal, well as normal as possible.  But, in Houston, there is no escaping that we are there for cancer.

The rain let up and we went out to dinner.  Dinner was awkward again.  Back to the blank stares and meaningless conversations.

We had to get to bed early.  Dusty had a PET/CT scan at 6:00 am on Wednesday morning.  This is the biggest test of our lives.  We have been sick about this test.  Basically, what this test will determine is if his tumors have spread or continued to grow during chemotherapy, there is nothing else that they can do for us.  Nothing they can do?????  This is the best cancer facility in the WORLD.  ?  


I didn't sleep at all.  I tossed and turned all night.  You can't imagine what it is like to wonder if your world is going to be ripped away from you.  To constantly worry if you're going to be a widowed mother of two.  I don't even know if I could continue without him.  He is my life.  My boys' lives.

On the way to the hospital we talked about how we can handle anything.  We are a great team: Dusty's strength, and my determination; we can handle anything!  I think!


Dusty's PET scan took about 2.5 hours.  Then, he had to go give blood.  The doctors want to see if his CEA levels are low enough to start adding radiation to his treatments and start treating locally (his esophagus) instead of only doing chemo which treats his whole body.  We finished everything and went straight to see the radiologist.  He said our PET/CT scan has already been uploaded to the system.    Gulp!  This is it, this is our future......


"I don't see anything else.  I see that your body is reacting correctly to the chemotherapy and your tumors are shrinking."  Wait, what????  What did you just say???  Seriously?  We celebrated, cheered, danced, laughed, etc.  Oh you have no idea.  It was so great!  Then, the doctor said, "BUT."  No "buts", you're not allowed to have "buts", this is our moment.  HUSH!  "But, the oncologist has to read it and makes the ultimate call on your plan."