Quick update on Dusty

I've been too busy to blog while in Augusta.  Spending a lot of time with my kids, friends, family, and working.  I have learned a lot about myself through this process.  Dusty and I have the greatest friends and support group.  You all are amazing.  We have made many new connections and relationships that mean so much to us.  But, we have also lost friends through this.  It's sad to think that some of the people closest to you don't care enough to pick up a phone and call.  We can't worry about bad relationships, only the ones that will continue to make us stronger.

The first two weeks that we were home were horrible.  Dusty couldn't keep anything down and his body was losing the battle.  He lost 18 lbs in two weeks bringing total weight loss to 43.2 lbs.  He is so tiny.  For him.  The last week of radiation and the two weeks after were the worst part of our journey so far.  It was very hard on Dusty.  He felt terrible and was very alone.  I had to go back to work and the kids were in school so Dusty was home alone all day.  I was so tired in the evening from getting up at 6:45 every morning, getting showered and dressed, getting the kids their breakfast and dressed, taking the kids to school, working all day, coming home and cleaning house, going and picking up the kids from daycare, cooking dinner, feeding the kids, bathing the kids, and putting them to bed.  EXHAUSTED!  I felt bad for Dusty because he was so alone all day and wanted to hang out at night but I would pass out at 9:30 every night, which made him more lonely.  Dusty slowing spiraled into a deep depression.  All he had to do was sit there and think about cancer, all alone.  He battled depression for a few more weeks and finally I convinced him, through the help of his sister and Dr. Wear, to take something for depression.  Well, the medicine that he started taking made him nauseous and vomit.  Back to this again?  Everyone said this was normal so he started taking his anti-nausea medicine.  A week later, it seems to be helping.

While at home we got to celebrate Reynolds' 6th bday!  We had slumber party with five 5/6 year old boys.  It was craziness but fun.  I learned that 6 year old boys like Justin Bieber more than 13 year old girls.  :)  I have the videos to prove it!  Today is Tuesday, September 25, Harland's 3rd birthday!  I wish we could be with our baby boy but we have to take care of his daddy.

We are now back in Houston, getting PET/CT scans (Tuesday) and having an endoscopy with ultrasound (Wednesday).  We meet with the oncologist Thursday for restaging.  We are staying positive but in the back of our mind there is a little devil saying, "What if?"  What if it didn't work?  What if it spread?  I'm staying very positive for Dusty but I'm also panicking inside.  I believe in our doctors and I believe in medicine so I feel it worked but I can't help but to try to prepare myself for the worst.  I have also developed a strong faith in God and the miracle of prayer.  WE FEEL YOUR PRAYERS, KEEP THEM COMING.  This week will determine the rest of our lives.  It is so hard to deal with such a monster like cancer.  IF there are any more tumors, or if the cancer "got smarter" and fought back against the chemo and radiation, they will not do surgery.  His cancer will then be stage 4, inoperable/non-curable.  Only treatable until the cancer wins.  BUT, that is not the case!  I believe that the medicine worked.  It had to.  There is no other option.   We will know Thursday.  I will keep you all posted.

Special thanks to Ashley Bridges for letting us stay at her apartment this week.  Saving us $550.  You're the greatest!