Here, you talk!

Dr. Lal does not work on Mondays so we had to endure another painful day of no appetite and upset stomachs.  Xanax helped!  Work continued and I stayed busy.  My best friend Elaine was my rock.  She could see it in me that I was dying but she knew I needed to stay busy and not talk about it.  So we laughed and did our stupid things at work.  I had to deliver many lockboxes for houses that we rented so that kept me out of the office.  On Tuesday, Dusty and I knew that Dr Lal would be back in the office and should have the biopsy results back.  We said we wouldn't call and wait for him to call us.  I secretly called at 11:30 and left a message hoping he would get it at lunch and call back.  Little did I know, Dusty did the same!  We didn't get a call.  Aunt Donna and I went out to deliver lockboxes to houses.  We were on West Lake Drive and my phone rang, it was Dr. Lal.  I put it on speaker phone because I needed Aunt Donna to help me interpret everything I was about to hear.  If good news I would have all ears in; if bad news, I knew I was going to go away in my mind.  Dr. Lal said it did come back positive for cancer.  I felt like my eyes were having a seizure, they were just rocking back and forth trying to keep up with the thoughts that were running through my brain.  We asked many questions, of which I can't remember.  I started to feel sick so I floored it to my parent's house up the street.  I threw the phone to Aunt Donna, "Here, you talk!" and ran inside to get sick, very sick!  Dr. Lal asked a question and Aunt Donna said I had stepped away for a second and he said, "to go to the bathroom?"  I guess that is a common response to hearing the worse news of your life.  I came back and asked if he had talked to Dusty?  He said he couldn't reach him.  I told him to keep trying.  I didn't want to be the one to face Dusty and tell him he has esophageal cancer.

I knew Dusty was in West Lake delivering beds so I quickly took a route out of the neighborhood that he wouldn't be on.  I didn't want to face him in the condition I was in or without any answers.  Dr. Lal told me things but I couldn't tell you what they were if my life depended on it.

I went to my office and waited for Dusty.  The rest of this day is private.